Independence~Americana & Pursuits of Happiness

Independence!

Red, White and Blue!

Happy 4th of July!

It’s amazing to see my small portion of the world decked out in red, white and blue! Our little community starts wearing the red, white and blue around Memorial Day and shines the brightest during the week of the 4th.My children look forward to the towns parade which consists of the “horribles” which is equivalent to a whole town water fight disguised as a 4th of July Parade. The rules are supposed to be that you’re not fired upon unless you fire first and have some sort of water holding device, but I have learned that that is not necessarily how things work!

In between ducking the pails, hoses and fire truck spray, I find myself scooping up chocolate, candies and treats tossed along the route from the caravan. Great fun!

Americana at it’s best! For all the foibles of our nations there is greatness. Community, families and togetherness under a bold sea of RED, WHITE AND BLUE!

God Bless America!

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits."

Thomas Jefferson

Love & Marriage~June 2008

It's my anniversary this week… 13 years of marriage! Wow, where did that time go?

Looking back over all those years I am reminded of all the ups and downs, growth experiences and how life seems to be building and changing me for some greater purpose.

I say some greater purpose because what I expect to happen isn’t always what happens.

I’ve been curious lately about how people around me are not necessarily grateful about their life but seem to only pick apart the parts that are not working and overlook the golden, divine events right in front of them.

Then I remembered something… the fact that we sometimes are so easily critical of others and notice in them what we need to be looking at within ourselves. So perhaps it’s me who is not showering others with gratitude and appreciation, perhaps it’s me who isn’t appreciative of thirteen years of marriage and what our life has brought us.

So, during this anniversary week my intention is to do just that. Be in the moment with gratitude and realize what great abundance we all have.

“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.”

Ann Landers Says Truth Is Stranger..., 1968

Spring & Summer Slumber

Boy, where did this month go? We’re zooming into the last week of May and quickly to June! Ah, June, summertime! I am astonished by the impact of the energy of spring/summer and its affect on my sleep! Staying up later and waking up earlier because of the glorious sun! I haven’t been able to unplug as normally. (American Idol isn’t helping either!! Go the two David’s!)

I was sitting in my doctor’s waiting room and stumbled across an article in the Web MD magazine titled, “Power Down”. The quote that struck me was, “One of the most simple but important reasons technology affects our sleep is cognitive stimulation.”

Heather Hatfield, the author of the article suggests- Slumber, Unplugged. “Unwind before bedtime. Have a transition period, about 15 to 30 minutes, of technology-free time before you go into your bedroom for sleep. Shut down your bedroom. Make where you sleep an electronic-free zone."

According to AOL’s third annual “email addition” survey, more than 40% of 4,000 respondents have checked email in the middle of the night. Put caps over your electric outlets to discourage plugging in for a recharge! (Webmd.com, WebMD magazine Jan./Feb. 2008)

My Little Springtime Run Away

I ran away on Saturday, not too far mind you, just out to lunch with my beautiful friends Lisa and Shannah.

I felt trapped like a rat! A feeling that I normally don’t feel and called them and asked them to run away with me for lunch. You see, my two children didn’t feel well all week and the three of us were home together! We all had cabin fever and all felt the need to run, for my little ones it was off to the park with their dad.

Did you ever have the feeling to just run away from it all, not indefinitely, but just for a few hours and pretend you’re something that you are not at the current moment?

For me, I was running, pretending for an afternoon and for those brief hours I was only responsible for myself. The first thing I did was to take the time and primp a bit, wearing a new sweater for the first time, putting on make up and some extra care into my accessories, matching necklace and earrings.

Having a spring in my step, off I went for my escape and lunch! I zipped into Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee, the sun was shining, Praise the Lord! And the feel of spring was rushing in. Being solo, I darted from the car to the door, holding it for an older gentleman to pass through and for another older couple to come out.

Here’s the funny part! Arriving first and holding the door for all the other coffee goers I lost my first “place” in line and when I went to take my new place behind everyone, the older gentleman ushered me before him. (A bit of instant Karma).

I ordered and was talking to the little girl behind the counter when the older gentleman leaned over to me and said “Honey, you forgot to take your tag off… it’s hanging on your back” Here I was thinking I was all that and more! Free, solo for the moment and feeling good about my outfit!

I started to laugh… saying “Oh, this sweater is new, I got it at Marshall’s and it was $14.99! But I don’t have to tell you all that, you already know!! When I turned around there had to be 10 people behind me! I knew it was going to be a fun filled day! Tag exposure and all.

I’m still laughing about that brief encounter and smiling because of the blessings of that lunch!

Here’s my lesson of the day: Try not to take yourself too seriously. I think this Irish saying sums it up best; “Count your joys instead of your woes; count your friends instead of your foes”...Old Irish Saying

Wisdom from Ages Past

I’m addicted to John Adams, the mini series on HBO. A while back, Mark and I had the audio book of John Adams and listened to it in the car. We actually would steal it from one another’s car because once you started listening you couldn’t stop.

I have been replaying an exchange that occured for only a brief moment during the last episode. That moment profoundly shared Abigail’s strength, endurance and faith. She was a brave and amazing woman. Talk about life/work balance!

This past episode Abigail, John’s wife, is once again alone dealing with the effects of the war, acting as a single mother and managing the farm on her own. In a conversation, her daughter inquires about her brother, John Quincy Adams and her father, John Adams' arrival in France and asks:

“When will we know?”

“Let not your mind wonder to fear,” Abigail replies while beating the ground so the daughter can plant the garden.

“It’s hard not to,” the little girl replies.

“Put your faith in God and trust in His Providence,” Abigail says slowly between hits to the dirt.

“Why do the boys have all the pleasure?” Nabby asks, speaking of her brother and father's trip to France.

“Because we let them,” Abigail smiles back.

“Let not your mind wonder to fear; Put your faith in God and trust in His Providence”

Such great wisdom from her words; push out the fear and replace it with faith and believe in protection and Divine timing. Just as little Nabby stated to her mother… “It’s hard to do,” but surrendering the fear and feeling the protection allow one the recognition of opportunity and understanding of Divine guidance.

Surrender

Life has a way doesn’t it? A way of drawing into your existence experiences to create learning! I’m once again brought to the cold, hard reality of surrender! Surrender and letting go of the outcome and just believing with unwavering faith that things will progress just as they are truly supposed to!

You would think that the infertility part of my life would have drilled this concept permanently into my being, but apparently it didn’t. Instead, it has created current interactions to do just that.

It’s about just having the faith that all is well and will be provided in divine time. Remembering that some days there is forward movement and others not so much!

Here’s one of my favorite spring poems from Sarah Ban Breathnach that sums up surrender perfectly! It will be answered in wondrous ways!

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.”

Happy Valentine's Day!

It’s Valentine’s Day!

I wasn’t really feeling the anticipation or love for this holiday this year, which was surprising! I shared with Mark that he could skip the flowers this year and I gave up chocolates for Lent which wipes out his typical gift!

When Mark and I were in the dark days of infertility, I took a moment and wrote in my journal why I was with him, what I admired about him the most and how my heart skipped a beat when we were just starting to date. I also included the moment that I knew he was the “one”. With all the trauma and heartbreak of trying to create our family, I lost that connection to the romance of us.

While rereading the entry the other day, I was instantly rushed back to each of the moments that I had documented. I am so grateful that through it all, the ups and downs of being in a relationship, we have each other.

So, perhaps this year you might want to move away from the commercial part of this day of romance and do the same…

Write your love story as a gift to your partner… document the moments that you feel the most connected, appreciated and loved. The magic of doing this is that it is usually the little moments that seem to have the most impact and take your breath away.

Sending love!

Kristen

Do You Ask For Help?

I want to ask a question. Do you ask for help?

I have to say that I have a very difficult time asking for help and receiving help. To make '08 great, one of my goals is to do just that, ask and receive help when necessary.

While sharing this with my husband Mark, a light bulb went off in his head and he read me a quote that he had scribbled in his notebook. The quote was from Donald Keough, the former president of Coca-Cola. "What separates those who achieve from those who do not is in direct proportion to one's ability to ask for help." Donald Keough

It was an amazing serendipity moment because Mark just purchased and was watching a DVD called The Journey filmed and directed by Eric Sapersten. In it, Mr. Sapersten mentioned the same quote. If you haven’t heard or seen The Journey check it out http://www.thejourneyfilm.com. It was a great big “ah-ha” moment for me because I didn’t connect the dots that my inability to ask and receive help was holding me back right at that given moment. The next day I asked for help regarding EveryDay Certainty, my lastest book endeavor which is in process and the flood gates opened with support and assistance! I am going to continue to exercise my “ask for help” muscle. How about you? Have you asked for help today?

Happy New Year!

All things great in 2008! That is my new mantra and it seems to be working. 2008 started out with an ice dam in our gutters that caused water to back up into our house so that on New Year’s Eve the service company was placing blowers and dehumidifiers in our house to keep the mold at bay.

It is an amazing thing about perspective. To tell you the truth, I made the intention to look at our situation and see the gifts and told myself things could be so much worse for our life. Reminding myself that we were still warm and had a wonderful Christmas helped me to continue to add to my gratitude list. I looked at the situation as an interruption and “a good problem to have”.

What is happening in your life that you could view as a “good problem to have” that on a scale of one to ten you count down your worries and make it a “2” as instead of a “9”?

Through my “All things great in 2008” mantra, I’m hoping to practice the idea of re-framing and finding the greatness in even the most distressing situation. Would you like to join me?

Blessings for a successful and healthy year. Kristen

Blog for December before the Holidays

Last week I had the intention of updating the blog and now here comes the but…

Mother Nature kept the wintry weather coming here in New England, which threw the work/school/life schedule into a tailspin, shoveling and shoving the whole holiday task time line out the window!

My mantra around the holidays is “It always gets done”. So, as we count down to Christmas and New Year's Eve, I offer you the use of my mantra knowing that “it will always get done” and it's how you manage your thoughts during the getting done part!

Wishing you and your families a safe, restful, fun filled and blessed Holiday Season and a Dreamy New Year!

Before the holidays

It’s the week before Thanksgiving! In our hectic paced lives it seems as though the pressure of the holidays comes earlier and stays a bit longer!

Also with the pressure comes the creeping in feelings of missing the moment and concentrating on the to-do list. Cooking, cleaning, packing, traveling. It’s almost as if you’re flying through the days and not really on the ground.

So how do you not miss the moments when the moments are filled to the brim? The sense of being grounded helps to overrun the feelings of stress and anxiety.

As crazy as this sounds I actually bend down and scoop up the energy of the earth to ground me. Pull up the energy of the earth by sweeping down and waving your hand up towards your feet, legs and entire body is one option. The other is imagining your feet are like roots of a tree... in this case the tree is your spinal cord and you are connecting down deep into the center of the beautiful green earth.

Phew! This quick and easy sweep will help your feet stay on the ground while flying high!

Blessings for a relaxing, blissful, yummy Thanksgiving!

October 31st~ Happy Halloween!

The escape of Halloween. I remember back to my childhood and trick or treating and the anticipation of the fright and also the fear of it too. Halloween provides a great opportunity to connect with that inner child and loose yourself in the time to pretend your someone or something else and nourish yourself and receive treats as this different person or thing! The simple act of acting! Acting as if… is so powerful because you are creating an opening to the universe to allow for great possibilities by changing your thought patterns. This night, I’ll be acting like Jessie, the rootin tootin cowgirl from Toy Story while, my son, Cole is Babba Fett from Star Wars and my daughter, Grace, is Ariel, the beautiful red head mermaid. Happy Halloween!

Resolve of the Baystate Annual Conference

The RESOLVE of the Baystate Chapter’s conference was this past Saturday, October 27,2007 and Mark and I had the privilege of delivering the keynote address and facilitating a workshop session. I’d like to send my thanks to www.resolveofthebaystate.org for allowing us to participate in the conference.

The theme of the day was Moving through Infertility: Learning Options, Making Choices.

The theme of Learning Options and Makings choice is so appropriate to any traumatic event that you might be currently facing; divorce, death of a loved one, job loss, financial hardship, depression and sadness.

Live crisis come in all forms, it’s education and choices that eases the pain and allows for healing and growth. Remembering to call in spirit to open up the possibilities adds tremendous grace to a situation and clearer focus.

I had received some energy work this week and felt that my body was recovering from the release of the past. When I shared my experience with Lisa Knox, who is a Physical Therapist and presenter at the Kindness Retreats she reminded me about the power we all have within, the power of breath.

Check out the Strategy for Living Section for a simple exercise with breath shared by Lisa Knox.

Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever. Leo Buscaglia

October 4, 2007 Well, life got into the way of updating my blog on a regular basis and I apologize for that. I actually have exciting news and a wonderful addition to our work. Diana has joined us and will be in charge of making sure the blog and newsletter goes out in a timely manner! Thank Goodness for Diana! This past weekend was the Kindness for Your Mind, Body & Soul Get Away for Women Only Retreat. The experience was amazing for everyone. A pampering morning of body treatments followed up with presentations, relaxation and yoga. An action packed full day of healing and renewal. For attendees who are visiting for encouragement for your 21 Days to create a new habit experience my small pearls of wisdom is to take one day at a time! Breathe and enjoy. I hope you’re finding the nurturing moments just what you’re needing at this moment and are recording the experience as you go along. For those of you who were unable to attend, we’ll be offering a “Girl’s Night Out” soon along with a full fledged get away weekend. Check back for more details! Thank you!

May 10, 2007

I want to thank www.pregnancy.org for inviting me to participate in a live chat to discuss coping strategies for Mother's Day. When the chat ended I realized that the time spent within a community of individuals provides strength, hope and healing at such a deeper level of understanding.

One very brave, special woman on the chat brought up the issue of miscarriage and asked the heart wrenching question; "Am I a mother." I so admire her courage to give voice to a question that haunted so many others, including me. The response was a resounding "Yes." This question also brought up issues of coping with the trauma of such a great loss and it's effect of you mind, body, soul and also your relationship.

Please feel free to check out some suggests below or the transcript of the chat (www.pregnancy.org) for some strategies that might resonate in hopes to relieve some of the emotional burdens associated with May 13th.

Mother's Day Survival Tips:

1. Try to arrange an outing with your mother or mother-in-law before or after Sunday so that you're not faced with the pressures of the day. Plan ahead what you'll be doing and where you'll be going. Being prepared creates a sense of control.
2. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself on that day. Even if that includes saying no to invitations and church settings. Create an elevator speech or script for responding to why you're not attending: "Thank you for including us, but it's not going to work for our schedule," for example.
3. Plan something to look forward to as a couple that is not about creating your family. Focus on an event that would make you both feel loved, supported and cared for, perhaps a dinner and a movie, a long hike, or a bike ride?

With Love, Kristen

First blog!

My blog has sprung! Unlike the spring weather here in Massachusetts where we should be "springing" we still are in more of a wintry weather pattern than mid spring warmth. As a matter of fact During National Library week at my son's school they had "beach/summer" day and off he went in his shorts and when the bus arrived home off he came in a snowstorm! Ugh!

For many, Spring connotes rebirthing and newness... For me it's the spring that brings a sense of growth and change more so than New Year's Day. Spring brings another opportunity within the second quarter of the year to get revisit your yearly goals and life plan.

You are actually reading one of my most important 2007 goals! My new website design and updated community section which includes my enewsletter and blog. My mission was to reorganize information in a user friendly way and to join the ranks of bloggers to share strategies for living on a more regular basis, not just through my workshops and presentations.

Finally, for all of you who have been waiting for an audio of my Survival Strategies; Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life the companion audio CD from my book Love and Infertility it is finally available you can purchase it through my website at my on-line boutique, www.MollyCoddleBoutique.com.

MollyCoddleBoutique.com is designed to offer guilt free indulgences for your mind, body and soul. My friend, Roseann Caliento is the "I've Got to Get That" woman who will be sharing with us the latest and coolest items for pampering ourselves at reasonable prices! Gotta love that!

Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog, Please don't forget to sign up for my enewsletter Certainty Today.

My latest book endeavor is "Everyday Certainty: Identifying Your True Life Plan" which will be ready from you summer/early fall.

With love, Kristen