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Boston Globe West Weekly
September 26, 2004
The Boston Globe
By Cate Coulacos Prato
FAMILY PLANNING -- As corporate consultants, Kristen Magnacca and her husband, Mark, of Upton, knew just what to tell people who wanted to improve businesses and their partnerships. At work they were in control and on top of their game.
But at home, as they struggled with infertility for eight years, the couple felt they had no control. Their marriage partnership was foundering. And when friends and family asked, unknowingly, ''So aren't you guys ever going to have kids?" the Magnaccas didn't know what to say.
Then, it occurred to Kristen to use the same strategies at home that she and her husband used at work.
''In our work, we use business strategies to help people achieve what they thought was unachievable," said Magnacca. ''It finally hit me that we should start doing by night what we did by day."
The result not only kept their marriage intact, preparing them to welcome two children into their lives, but it gave birth to a book. ''Love and Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage, and Life" (LifeLine Press), written by Kristen Magnacca, details 28 strategies for keeping the love alive while trying to create a family. In it, Magnacca explains how to make an infertility game plan so you and your partner can work as a team, how to develop an ''elevator speech" to answer insensitive questions, and how to use the power of visualization to gain control and calm fears.
Business strategies can easily translate to infertility strategies, Magnacca said. While most people think of an elevator speech as a brief verbal resume you use to tell someone about yourself when you want a job, Magnacca shows how it can be useful to have a rehearsed speech ready to respond to personal questions. For example when someone asks, ''Are you ever going to have kids?" instead of getting angry or upset, you could reply, ''We very much hope to, and we have a team of doctors working on it," Magnacca said.
Having an infertility game plan allows you and your partner to think through potential infertility crises in advance. That way, you can discuss what your feelings and choices might be at a time when you feel calm and in control, she said.
''Love and Infertility" comes out today, in conjunction with National Infertility Awareness Week, Sept. 26 through Oct. 2. Magnacca will speak and sign copies of her book at Border Books, Music & Cafe, 10-24 School St., Boston, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. on Sept. 27.
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