Write It Down

I have found myself in conversation with women this week who are in transition. Looking for newness in their lives, new homes, new loves, new cars, new hair dos…

With all new things comes a sense of confusion or worry about the decision.One of the strongest ways of cutting through the confusion and apprehension of change is to write down what you’re looking for.

When Mark and I were looking for our home, we took the time to write in detail what this home would look like. When we arrived at the door to our home, it was eerie how closely the list matched the house. By putting down in black and white what you're looking for you are, in a way, placing an order to the universe to open up, direct you to and pull in that exact experience or item.

I had a friend who was looking for a partner and I shared with her this strategy. Even though the perfect match hasn’t show up at her door as of yet, she keeps the list in her night stand to use as a reminder to herself what is important for her to feel supported, loved and appreciated in a relationship.

I encourage you to do the same when contemplating a life change. Writing it down might seem simple but in actuality it is simply amazing.

The Honey Do List Strategy ~ The Little Red Bags~

Is a powerful strategy to help couples feel connected, understood and a sure fire way to help meet each other’s needs. The “Honey Do List” strategy came at a point in our lives when we thought our marriage might be a tragedy of our infertility situation.

Faced with the devastating reality that we had gone through surgeries, tests and three IUI’s (intrauterine inseminations) and hearing the news all of us fertility challenged couples long to hear, that we were indeed pregnant, and to lose that pregnancy was a blow too difficult to comprehend and overcome.

We knew we needed help and sought guidance from all types of professionals. But none seem to be making a difference.

Then I remember an incident that occurred years earlier on the high seas. Mark and I were on a romantic cruise and at the end of each day Mark would check off our daily activities and file it in a folder. I remember chuckling about how he read each offering and then put a big check mark next to it to indicate he had completed the fun.

Through that image the “3X5 Honey Do List Strategy” was born. Here’s how to get started:

I used the colored 3X5 cards but you can use the white ones if you’d like.
Each day you exchange cards with your partner.
On the left hand side of the card number 1 through 3.
Then list three things you’ll need from your partner today.
For example:

Kristen’s “Honey-Do List” Card

1. Call me three times today to check in. (Using the weather check strategy from Love and Infertility, LifeLine Press September 2004)
2. Go to bed with me and read
3. Have dinner together

Mark’s “Honey-Do List” Card

1. Greet me when I come home from work
2. Remind me why you married me
3. Listen about his day.

After completing each request, put a check by the number and at the end of the day exchanged completed index cards. We put a quote or a song lyric on the back and made this simple exercise a gift that we gave each other daily.

That little index card had a profound change regarding how we approached our marriage and how we perceived each other. I thought Mark was aware of what I needed to feel loved, understood and working as a team through our current situation and was withholding it, how crazy is that?

In reality, we both were dealing with our emotions and trying to understand and help the other with really no way of knowing what the other person truly needed. This exercise insured that we knew and could fulfill those needs.

We went from feeling as though we were failing on all fronts to making our relationship a priority and success.

The Power of Breath~

The energy surrounding events in our life is there regardless of our awareness, both positive and negative energy. Healing the stuck feeling associated with a moment of trauma in your life requires your attention or focus and then action.

Healing from within:
The power of breath… (Exercise courtesy of Lisa Knox)

Take a cleansing breath and close your eyes.

On your exhale release the fear that you are holding, fear associated to a given circumstance or trauma. (A negative pregnancy test, a lower than expected egg retrieval, a life transition, divorce, death, miscarriage)

On your inhale breath in divine energy, you might want to visualize white light being drawn in and ask the divine to help you release what is blocking you from moving forward.

On your exhale release your fear again.

Inhale the peace of the divine, let your shoulders relax and melt into your breath.

Call in white light from above. Slowly open your eyes when you’re ready.

21 Days to Create a Habit~ Kindness For you Mind, Body & Soul Retreat

I received feedback from a woman who came to the Kindness Retreat that she was unable to do her first choice for her self-nurture habit. She was obviously upset and disappointed and felt she failed on her first day.

One of the wonderful side effects of the 21 Things for 21 Days to Create a Habit experience is the gift of awareness. I applaud this woman for some many reasons. She became aware of where she wasn’t/hasn’t nurtured herself, she decided to take action, and make a plan to do so.

Like our weebles, she wobbled and got of to a different start than expected. In every challenge there is a gift and for her it was to be more committed to completing the 21 days successfully.

So, in words of my mom and probably yours’ too, simply act and try, try, again. Grace will happen!

Strategies for You

My life, company and my work is based on a quote from Oliver Wendell Homes...
"Sometimes a moment of insight is worth a lifetime's experience."

"Strategies for Living" is a place for Secrets, Insights and Tid-bits. I'll share with you some of my moment's insights, along with personal strategies, ideas, or suggestions.

So, whether its managing your home life and responsibilities, changing careers, deciding how to take a big leap, speaking from truth or finding your truthfulness. There will be something of interest here, I promise. Please sign up for my Certainty Today eNewsletter to get the complete inside scoop.

Habit of Celebration

Embracing the Energy of Summer is a great time to implement a Habit of Celebration — taking time to acknowledge all that you've done during the day to make your life work. Go ahead and make a mental list; you've done the laundry, worked 8 to 10 hours, paid the bills, fed the family and sent out energy to make your life work.

Here's an excerpt from Love and Infertility where I share my family's nightly ritual.

"After we've eaten dinner and cleaned up the dishes, we crank up Cher's song "Believe" and sing at the top of our lungs, dancing around like hotties from the seventies. We look forward to that moment, as it reminds us to believe in life's opportunities. What I didn't realize is that you can see into our kitchen from the street, and one night I arrived home after dinner and, passing our house to pull into our driveway, I could see Mark and Cole dancing away. From the outside looking in, it looked like complete mania, but I knew what was happening, and it warmed my heart.

What little ritual can you create that would have its own secret meaning, puzzling to someone looking in from the outside?"

Create the Habit of Celebration!

It's the time you can dance and celebrate the day's accomplishments.
Find that one thing that you could do for 10 minutes that energizes your spirit.

Take a moment and look at your daily life. Is there a time during the day that you can integrate a celebration?

Check out our Certainty Today eNewsletter to learn more.